Thursday, March 21, 2013

Will You Go Or Follow?

Am I willing to Follow you.....wherever you go?  I want to say yes.  You can't imagine how much I want to believe I will be faithful to actually follow through.  But in reality, when the moment meets the day.....where will I go?  Where you want or where I want?

As I was reading Genesis 24:5 this morning: Be willing to follow me unto this land....... I heard you very loud and clear.  Which way are you going to go?  You know the way I'm going. Are you going to leave me to?

My heart sank, just like everything I wrote in "The Wind and a Stone". Fear is the only thing which would keep my feet paralyzed and let you just walk out on your own.  Would I chase you down, or would I just watch you fade into the sunset? 

This is when I heard your grieving voice speaking to the disciples: Are you going to leave me too?
Honestly, it made my stomach and heart hurt.  But then I got angry at myself and said don't be so foolish!  In my mind I burst out and threw off all that icky stuff, shouting "NO!" "I'm going too...I want to stay with you to do clean - up on isle 9! :)

Will everyone else abandon you?  I don't know....but by your goodness chasing me down and your wing protecting me - where else would I go Lord!  Only you have what will enliven my weary soul.  Within you I can do anything; outside of your abilities I'm limited to struggle and wear myself (and everyone else) out.

All I can think of at this moment is how pitiful it must have felt to you in your time of sorrow when you looked into the faces of those closest to you, those you chose to be with because you loved them, and asked: "Are you going to leave me also?"

It is here in this very verse that I am sitting with you now, as you sit with me and I pray for wisdom, understanding and the grace to Go only where you say.  And to STAY as long as you ask me to. Thank you so much for forgiving us for what we simply do not comprehend, but even beyond that, I thank you for not giving up on me / us. For not leaving us powerless to see clearly, and be able to determine that we desire to change; also for empowering our desires with your own good pleasure in order that we are catapulted  into something beyond our imaginations: a transfigured, loving, able form.

Just had an aha moment: we are truly lovable when we are "love able" / able to love.......
You are awesome Lord!

I pray that we are all God desires us to be - it's ridiculously amazing all that He has safely tucked away within us to discover with Him.

Kisses,
C
Kaleidoscope Butterfly, Inc®
©Candace Huffmaster 2013, All Copy Rights Reserved

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